I never used to think I was a judgmental person. I like to think I’m a nice, liberal, open-minded, Guardian reader. But I worry continually that people are judging me, they judge me on my weight, on my hair, clothes, what I say, how I sit, what car I drive………………… Do I think they are judging me because I am judging them?
Mostly I worry that people think I’m stupid and useless. I’m pretty convinced that that because I’m fat, people automatically think I’m stupid and lazy. If I’m dressed badly then I’m lazy and slovenly. Everyone on the tube judges me, everyone at work judges me, my clients judge me. Or at least I think they do.
But talking this through I might not be being completely rational. I don’t judge everyone like this. I’ll be honest, I make some snap judgments, but even when I do I’ve forgotten about them moments later and they are of no consequence. Therefore maybe not everyone is judging me, they’ve probably got better things to think about. People may not equate fat with stupid, badly dressed may not equal lay and if I’m really looking on the bright side, I may not even be badly dressed anyway.
I need to stop worrying about what other people think of me, and start focussing on what is more important and what I want to do. But that can be easier said than done.